Your baby will sleep for two hours on your chest and twelve minutes in the cot. You have started wondering whether you created this by holding them too much.
You did not. This is one of the most normal things a newborn does, and the reasoning is biological rather than behavioural.
Why being held works so well
On you, a newborn gets almost exactly what they had before birth: the sound of your heartbeat, the rhythm of your breathing, your body temperature, gentle motion, containment on all sides, and your smell. A flat, still, cool, silent mattress shares none of those. From your baby's point of view, your body is the normal environment and the cot is the strange one.
There is also a biological reason it feels urgent to them. Human infants are born neurologically immature and are wired to treat separation as a problem. Protesting it is the system working, not malfunctioning.
It is not a habit you created
Contact sleep does not create a permanent dependency. Most babies naturally become more tolerant of separate sleep between three and five months as their nervous system matures.
How to widen the gap gradually
The principle is to replace the elements of "being held" one at a time, rather than removing all of them at once.
Replace the sound. Keep continuous low-frequency sound playing — womb recordings, a heartbeat rhythm, steady white noise. This substitutes for your heartbeat and breathing, and it is the easiest element to transfer. Keep it unbroken and around 50 dB.
Replace the containment. A firm swaddle recreates the boundaries of your arms. Keep it snug across the chest, loose at the hips, never over the face, and stop swaddling at the very first sign of rolling.
Replace the warmth. Warm the mattress with your hand before the transfer. A cool sheet against a warm back is a frequent trigger.
Keep contact after the transfer. Hands on, firm pressure on the chest or tummy, for a slow count of twenty. Remove contact gradually rather than all at once.
Get the timing right. Wait for deep sleep — open limp hands, heavy arms, slow regular breathing, a still face. Transferring during the first twenty minutes almost never works.
Try halfway positions. Sleeping in a carrier while you are upright and awake, or a nap in a pram, are both steps between your chest and a cot. Many families find the gap easier to cross in stages.
Permission to not fix it immediately
If contact napping during the day is working and you are able to rest or be present safely, it is a reasonable choice while you work on night sleep only. You do not have to solve both at once.
Safety, which is non-negotiable here
Contact sleep is only safe while you are awake and alert. Never fall asleep holding your baby on a sofa or armchair — that carries a substantially higher risk than any other sleep situation. If you are exhausted enough that you might drift off, put your baby down on their back on a firm flat surface first, even if they protest. For actual sleep, always back, firm, flat, clear of pillows and loose bedding.
Speak to your doctor if your baby cannot settle anywhere even held, if there is poor weight gain, persistent arching or apparent pain, or breathing that sounds laboured.